yourheadacheishere (November 30, 1999 at 12:00 am)

you were all lucky. i had to live in a river, then wash it after having slept in it. we, all 1 of me worked in an abandoned factory and only got paid when i smelled bad enough for the neighbors to notice. Everyday id drink whatever i could squeeze out of an elephants dung, then eat the rest for dinner... u lucky bastards had it all

StukovM1g (November 30, 1999 at 12:00 am)

That's all? I had to fight off Nazis, Communists, Confederates, Genghis Khan and his mongol Hordes, the Roman Army, the Chinese Empire, The Russian empire, hungry bears, piranhas, mad cows and earthworms with a WW1 rifle and 10 bullets.

StukovM1g (November 30, 1999 at 12:00 am)

(continued) And we were living in a coal mine, do you know how badly maintained those things are?

StukovM1g (November 30, 1999 at 12:00 am)

those were my happy years. later the whole family, 418 of us left moved to china, worked 100 hours a day for 1 yuan every century, work in badly maintained factories during winter wearing a sheet of paper making fur coats to export to America, eat a handful of snow washed down with melted snow and when we got home, Dad will practice his shooting by sniping every one of us using his 1861 musket. p.s.: i'm sorry if i offended anyone with the china part.

ChasingSarahRedux (November 30, 1999 at 12:00 am)

Wretched excess. I used to live on the jagged end of a broken beer bottle, get up and drink backwashed piss, work at the mill for a ha'penny every ten years, and when I got home my mum used to throw me in a pit of nymphomaniac spiders, if I was lucky!

ORCA4312 (November 30, 1999 at 12:00 am)

You had a DAD? You're lucky...

StukovM1g (November 30, 1999 at 12:00 am)

Luxury. I used to live in a cube of ice, all 685 of us, wake up at midnight every morning, eat a bowl of grass washed down with dirt, work at the lead factory for a pound every year for 20 hours a day, get poisoned with lead and when we got home, dad will blow us to pieces with cluster bombs IF WE WERE LUCKY.

asztaka (November 30, 1999 at 12:00 am)

:))) just brilliant

pinkfakecheez (November 30, 1999 at 12:00 am)

Good effort. :D

WikkidAwesomeness (November 30, 1999 at 12:00 am)

i had to live under a rock in the desert and go to work making mt rushmore bt gnawing at the rock with my teeth. and i only had 2. then i would go home to my rock and eat live scorpions for dinner and drink my own pee.